


Unbearable

by kadeccasinclair



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt Lydia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 11:42:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4058713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kadeccasinclair/pseuds/kadeccasinclair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No no no Lydia please. I'm so sorry."</p>
<p>"N-not yo-your f-ff-fault. I-I knew," I whispered, trying desperately to get my voice heard. The shock was starting to lift and the unbearable pain reached my body like spikes of heat scorching my insides. The pain was hot and fast and each breath intensified it but I needed him to know. I needed to tell him that he deserved the world.</p>
<p>"I-I love y-you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unbearable

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry. :'( Just needed my ideas to come out.

It all happened in slow motion. The sense of peace that I had been trying to find suddenly appeared out of nowhere and the serene sound of the absence of voices in my head brought the truth into my mind. The truth that I had been accepted from the minute I had stepped in front of my mirror and felt that undeniable wanting to scream. I was going to die. Right here and right now in the space occupied between Stiles and the guy unloading his bullet.

 

The sound rang in the air for an eternity. For a second I believed that a miracle had happened and that the punishing bullet hadn't touched any of us at all before I felt warmth seize up in the left side of my chest. Liquid drenched my shirt and I felt a wrack of dizziness hit me, the shock still holding me in full force. Without warning, my world spun and I dropped to the floor, surrounded by the silence of all.

 

My head fell to the cold metal but I couldn't feel anything. I was numb, and there was not a single muscle or organ that I could feel in operation. Perhaps it was good that I wouldn't feel my own death but perhaps, it was worse that I had no clue what would become of me in the next second. I wanted to feel the same way my best friend had.

 

I'll be with Allison.

 

The thought warmed me and I felt a tear fall out of the corner of my eyelid. We'd be reunited, at last. The weight that seemed to have held me down lessened slightly before a voice cried out, desperate and filled with panic.

 

"Lydia!"

 

I tasted iron in my mouth and I choked, my vision blurring with tears before the fuzz was lifted. Amber eyes met mine, wide with shock. The salt from Stiles's tears fell to my face, drenching me with water on top of my own desperate ones. "No no no Lydia please. I'm so sorry."

 

"N-not yo-your f-ff-fault. I-I knew," I whispered, trying desperately to get my voice heard. The shock was starting to lift and the unbearable pain reached my body like spikes of heat scorching my insides. The pain was hot and fast and each breath intensified it but I needed him to know. I needed to tell him that he deserved the world.

 

"I-I love y-you."

 

Stiles cried out, his beautiful face crinkling. He was sobbing hard now, painful sorrow etching his features. "You don't get to do this to me. You can't go. Dammit Lyds, you can't go when I know I'll never be over you."

 

My eyes widened with the little energy my body had left. He still loved me. "Malia-"

 

"She's nothing compared to you." Another tear combined with mine on my cheek. I relaxed into Stiles's lap, sending a weak smile and forcing the corners of my lips to quirk. I was so tired.

 

"You got to tell Sc-Scott." I forced out, blood spitting out of my mouth. "Tell hi-him I-I love him."

 

Stiles shut his eyes, more tears falling. "It's-it's going to be o-okay. I promise. You-you've got to be okay." The exhaustion grew on me even more, and I felt an underwhelming desire to just fall asleep. The voices in my head began whispering, searching for the answer to the next death. It was seconds away.

 

"How can it be okay? I love you, Lyds. I always have. I'm so sorry." His hand entangled with mines and I looked back up at him. The glance itself told a story, a history of the years we had been together. Every nanosecond carried the story of looks, of actions, of love up until the last. It was more intimate of an experience than I had ever felt before with absolutely nothing but love. That's why I had I had loved him. That's why I'd miss him."

 

"I l-love you, Sti-tiles Stilinski." My world tumbled to darkness.

 

 

 

Stiles POV:

 

"Lyds. Lyds. C'mon!" I yelled, shrieking into the air. I looked down, sickened. This was the girl that I loved, dead. Her face so pale that it wouldn't seem as if she had ever breathed on this Earth and her eyes so glazed over that they looked like a broken china dolls'. There was blood everywhere and the scent of the room was sickened with it.

 

"No no no no!" I couldn't have lost her. I shook her once more, panic reaching me at an altitude beyond mankind. Nothing. She was gone.

 

I I-love you, Sti-tiles Stilinski.

 

I had wasted so much time with Malia and now the girl of my dreams was gone, forgotten in the past months and left for the death that she didn't deserve. She had taken the bullet for me and had known all along that she would die but still accompanied me. Lydia Martin was the most selfless person I had ever known.

 

A hand landed on my shoulder and a person crumpled down next to me. My shock ridden body that would surely feel the effects of her death was stoic as it looked over to Scott, who's face was buried into the ground next to Lydia. He was crying, pouring tears just as mine's fell off my cheeks replaced by the sorrow of the next.

 

"No. Dammit!" Scott roared, slacking as he pounded his fists into the ground. "Why did this have to happen goddamn!" I knew what he meant. Allison was gone first, the first member of the true four gone, and now Lydia was gone. Their blood was on our hands.

 

"We brought them into this. I brought her into this, Scott! If I hadn't she wouldn't be dead!" I yelled, clutching the lifeless body as if my insistence would bring her back to life. Trickles of emotion began pouring into me as the shock wore off. Every feeling became magnified and the pain, intensified. I could barely move as the hurt, sorrow, and despair hit me in throes of anguish.

 

"Why do you have to be gone?" I whispered into the air, my voice heavy and the tears still falling freely. "Why do the best always leave first?"

 

My head hurt as every page from our rich history poured in as memories. The pain and guilt wracked up and I wailed to the lonely world. Lydia Martin was the strongest person I had ever known. She could not be gone. There was no part of me that registered that she would be gone.

 

Maybe if I didn't blink for a minute she wouldn't be gone. She'd come back to life just in time for me to start sobbing with the long exposure to air.

 

Maybe if I held my breath for a minute she wouldn’t be dead.

 

Maybe if I pretended that we were at my house she wouldn't be lifeless.

 

Maybe if I-. I slammed my fist. Another funeral, another person to visit at the cemetery. This would be my life. I wouldn't have anyone at my funeral because all those I loved would just be gone.

 

If you died I would go out of my freaking mind.

 

I was.

 

I was so out of my mind that I'd be qualified as bonkers according to the Eichen house psychiatrists. The pain was unbearable and the grief weighed down on me as if I carried the weight of the world. But I had to honor the spirit of the girl I loved, and the only way I could do that, to carry on her dream for me, would be to do what she wanted to. She would want me to fall in love, to travel the world, and come back every single anniversary to plant a rose on her grave. To be even close to worthy of her, which I was so far from, I'd do just that. The pain would never leave but maybe, just maybe, it'd be bearable.

 

But for now, it wouldn't. I screamed.

 

 


End file.
